Sam J Grudgings
Cultivar (how not to recover)
Updated: Mar 29, 2019
Originally Published By Riggwelter Press

Grief is a cause for growth
apparently,
however,
cancer & tumours & fungus all grown in the dark of human gardens
& I have no desire to will my resolve to fester.
Mildew hearts coughing spores of
"It gets easier in time."
I think // You let // Flowers // Bloom from // Your
everything
& never picked out the weeds &
that’s ok. But the flora of my stomach lining
is a show home with
bile flourishing beneath the windowsills.
I have no greenfingered desire
to let the mulch of my untold secrets
grow into anything.
Maybe repression isn’t the best way to grow,
but I think of
how carefully cultivated bonsai trees are & how the hottest chillies &
sharpest cacti grow in terrible conditions.
Maybe I'll just
ensure I divert waters
to force drought conditions,
so my grief
has nothing to feed on
& worry about the arid nature
of my irrigation channels
only when my famine
starves the village that raised me.